Divorce and Child Support

The first thing I would like to say is THANK YOU, it is such a wonderful service you provide! What I was wondering is how do I firgure out if I should ask for a child support increase and is it possible to go back years and have your divorce degree opened up again? I ask that because I was married back in 1988 and divorced in 1995, in that period I did not work out of the home but helped my ex-husband run his business ( doing all the billings, errands, etc) We built a brand new home (which most of the monies he had upon us being married) but we also paid almost half again as much in mortage payments while being married so there was alot of equity in the home, plus IRA's, investments etc our marriage ended when my father was diganosed with bone cancer and I had a VERY hard time dealing with it. My ex said " either sign off everything we own to me and I won't try and get custody of our daughter" I walked away with nothing except for the most important person in my life-my daughter! This has bothered me for years as I feel it was emotional black mail, he knew that I wouldn't or couldn't risk loosing my daughter and he used that, and with my emotional state at that time I was too afraid to chance it. He has since lived VERY well financially, I on the other hand worked part-time, recieved welfare, about $250.00 per month in child support ( he knew how to cover up income being self-employed) and since Oct of 1997 I have lived on SSI due to Multiple Sclerosis so my life style went way down after our divorce. I feel that he has been extremely unfair and that he should have to make right some of the wrong he has done to me and my daughter, so is there anything I can do to recover even a small amount of what I feel I was entitled too? I Thank-You So Very Much!

                                      Sincerely,

                                              Blondie

 

I would definitely talk to a lawyer about this, I doubt because you were having a hard time emotionally, they would have pulled your daughter away from you, does not sound like you were an unfit mother, and you did deserve half in the divorce and probably at the time could have received alimony.  I would take your first free consultation with a lawyer in your area over this matter, and possibly talk to a couple, get several opinions, I think you have a definate case!

 Let me ask this. You state he lives very well finacially...how often does he spendtime w/his daughter?  If it is a reasonable amount, I assure you that your daughter is in no way suffering at his house.  She probably has nicer things there than at your home.  My aunt retired from the state and she has MS, so I'm at a loss why you can't even work from home for the airlines?!  What it sounds like to me is that the only "wrong" done was to you--you chose to lose focus on life & he moved on. You have nothing, while he does. You want free money. Period. I doubt you would spend all the $$ you're seeking on your daughter, since that is what it should be used for...not for your own "personal" needs seeing as how you are an adult, not a child.  What I feel you are entitled to is: Be an adult, act like a respons. parent and get a job! That no job crap doesn't work for the NC parent-you either. Get over yourself and provide for your child. If you can't, then let her father have her. Otherwise, you will be the cause for your child's "unhappy" (if applicable) childhood.  Also, it's not his fault that you had such a hard time dealing with your father's illness. It's yours.  People die every day. That's life.  Choosing to let your marriage go downhill because of that is retarted.  You should have leaned on him, not pushed him away. Again, your fault for your daughter's "unhappiness".  Why don't you play the lottery if you want more free money?!

Child support is only modifiable back to thae date that a Motion is filed.  It cannot be modified back for a period of years unless there is some significant basis to allege that fraud has occurred.  It is not a likely scenario under most circumstances and not under the circumstances that you relate.

 I am truly sorry to hear of your issues.

 For Minnesota matters visit http://www.divorceprofessionals.com

I can relate to what you're going through, Blondie. A response from another legal site said you can modify alimony due to illness and special circumstances. I divorced my ex-husband and was awarded custody and permission to move out of state. 

I left the west coast to drive back to Minnesota and my 7 year-old was shot in a random act of violence while we were in a tourist shop.  My child survived and recovery took a while. My other child, 3 yrs old, had night terrors for years afterward and was later diagnosed with high functioning autism. My career was jeopardized due to lack of daycare for my son--eventually worked from home as writer/ editor, but at a loss of salary. (I made more than ex at time we met).

My ex then moved back to MN, but was abusive again, charged, and required to parenting classes etc., later had his record expunged. Then I got cancer and complications--treatment & recovery took a long time. Ex moved out of state 5 years ago. Sold my home and raised the kids on that as my share of child support. I'd originally been awarded $250 in spousal maintenance for 2 years, but didn't have it modified/extended because I was doing okay until sick.

Physically recovered but can't, however, find employment to support myself. I work pt/no benefits and can't get back into a corporate job due to checks show medical bills, problems etc---and can't very well explain it by going through the series of events outlined here.  I'm 55.

My ex's household income is about 400K. We've had extreme circumstances. Can I modify spousal maintenance? Does my son have support rights at all that could be modified due to his autism? I worry what will happen if I die etc. Was it illegal for my ex to have refused to have either of his children for summers, holidays, etc. while I was getting chemo etc.? He said he wasn't legally obligated, that NC are only given the option to see their kids but aren't required.

Regarding fraud, my ex took a large sum of money from our joint account before I filed for divorce using an ATM card in my name I didn't know he had. Ex misrepresented himself before marriage--does this constitute fraud?   

Sorry for the length. Thank you.