March 2009 - Posts
Why are we sometimes scared to ask questions? I have felt this way before…I think because when I go to ask something I wonder if it will sound dumb…but i do not think there is a dumb question out there, when you really think about it, we must remember we all are smart in different areas, so asking allows us to learn! Especially when it comes to your divorce and child support ones, we do not want to do something wrong, just because we were nervous to ask. Asking questions is sometimes what saves us from being basically blind in a situation! Wither you ask a question here, which I love helping people, or you ask your divorce lawyer, or even a friend, it is important to ask anything you may have concern about. One thing you do not want to do is end back up in divorce court trying to reopen your divorce.
Make sure you also research your divorce lawyers, I have no idea how many times I have told people this, going to the first divorce lawyer in your telephone book that handles divorce, or the first add on the internet or by word of mouth is not always the best, you want to ask around, you want to ask questions, even on your divorce lawyer, make sure you research and even meet with several divorce lawyers.
Again I want to stress, how important it is to ask questions, never feel scared or think that any question is dumb, its not, it may save you a long run around of divorce issues in the long run, by asking!
In these times or any time….child support, divorce…all ties into your taxes….so before you go filing and claiming the children on, make sure who is going to be getting that in the divorce. This always seems to become a war in most divorce cases, and in a lot of cases, a divorce mediator will be called in to help with this area of the divorce. I have talked about divorce mediation several times, it can really help with many divorce issues.
This blog is important to people right now that are just stepping into their divorce and filing taxes also, what needs to be done here is a discussion between divorce lawyers if there have not been a filing of taxes and everything taken care of before the divorce. Both can not claim the kids, will either be parents splitting the years, adjustments in child support because one parent gets to claim every year. So make sure the adjustments are already made for this in your divorce before you go filing. This can be a huge mistake.
After the divorce everything changes when it comes to tax time, so even with work, make sure you are now having the right amount drawn out or putting the right amount back. Huge reminder for everyone when it comes to divorce and taxes.
I like to remind people, no matter what, you always have somebody, divorce is rough and of course there are a lot of women going through a lot more then divorce, they may be dealing with abuse….so if you are reading this and you think there is no where to turn…yes there is, just contact even your local departments, such as police or even support groups, there is always a place to turn and battered women's shelters. Remember you do not have to stay in that, you can get a divorce and you can be safe. For people going through a divorce, wither just dealing with things or what not, I have always said it is good to have therapist, somebody other then even a friend to talk to, that can help us see more clearly going through a divorce.
If you do have a good friend make sure they are there, and a good friend will be if you are going through a divorce or any tough time. One of the things that people forget is that they need to read those divorce papers, most people skim over them and can miss an entire story in their divorce papers, so read them and for that friend that is there for you, make sure they read your divorce papers, they may catch something you missed, and believe me the last thing you want to do is go back to divorce court, divorce cases can be horrible to reopen!
And here!!! If you need to talk about something in your divorce, ask a question about your area, or just scream about how your day went….you are never alone!
And check it more then twice. One of the things that you and your divorce lawyer need to do is go over a check list, for both of you. Your divorce lawyer needs to ask you a thousand questions, as you need to ask your divorce lawyer. One of the things is, be truthful about everything, you do not want to get into divorce court and *bam* there is a surprise and neither are ready for it. So make a check list of questions for your divorce lawyer, and make sure that you answer your divorce lawyers check list to a T.
There are several things you need to do also, is make sure that you and your divorce lawyer stay in touch on everything. What is going on, if any changes have happened in the divorce process,so an important thing to add to your check list here, is make sure you have all your divorce lawyers contact information, and he has all yours, now this comes down to everything, address, place of work, phones, email, fax, for both of you, making sure that you let each other know what’s going on as soon as possible and getting divorce information across to each other, can make the divorce process move so much smoother.
If you have any extra questions on what you may need to ask your divorce lawyer, well ask away, but here are some things, if you have been a stay at home mother, make sure child support and alimony issues are discussed. debts and assets, if there has even been adultery and abuse in the marriage, your divorce lawyer needs to know EVERYTHING. You want to get your fair share in a divorce, and make sure there are no surprises anywhere when it comes to the divorce.
Good Monday Morning, here we are a start of a new week, so many of us are going through so many things, many of us divorce, the thoughts of divorce, and where to start. I have done many blogs on what to do, it never hurts to refresh and for those of you that are new…so lets start, one of the things you need to do is start researching a divorce lawyer….I try to tell people to never surprise a spouse with a divorce, if you can talk to them in some way that it is not working, some already know divorce is happening wither or not…..some need to be quiet cause they are abuse cases to deal with in divorce, those are understandable…so start on finding your divorce lawyer, they will start happing you with the divorce process. There are many other things that you need to do such as…
Open your own bank account, one it is easy to transfer money in the divorce.
Getting your own line of credit, you need that in your new start after the divorce.
A job…now remember alimony can come into play here….if you need schooling to re enter the work force or get back on your feet in the work force, a good divorce lawyer will know to go over this with you.
Those are just some of the basics, and if you have questions NEVER ever be afraid to ask!
Stopping in on a busy day, and thinking about all the people going through divorce and child support issues. Some times I think people are scared or worried that when they ask a divorce or child support question that they may have a fear that they are just, either asking wrong, or that people will wonder what they are thinking. I have said it many times before, what matters is you, and asking your questions on your divorce and child support, alimony etc..is so important and no question is dumb, so make sure that you open up, this is your future and you want to get it right. I am not a lawyer, I am not a doctor, but I never worry when I ask a question, it allows me to learn something and go further and understand and get things right the first time around!
I love being able to research the best possible information for your divorce and child support questions, so always ask, heck ask anything, that's why we are here, to help you, to help your future…so that you do not have to be afraid, or scared….so jump in and get it right the first time, never be scared!
Well I have been gone for a few days, but never think I am not looking and keeping an eye on you all and the questions you have.
Getting your divorce right the first time is the most important thing you will ever do. So many people end back up in divorce court for several reasons. Not reading their divorce papers, not knowing what they have, not understanding alimony..etc..
It is important to know everything you have from debt and marital assets, make a list, and also give it to someone you can trust, your divorce lawyer needs to know everything you have, so that they can help get everything split right the first time, and your not sitting there later while your spouse got everything and you just got split in the debt.
It is also very important to understand alimony, alimony is not a punishment for a spouse, but if you have been married for a long time and now have to return to school or work force to survive and have been without work for years, alimony should be something a spouse should not mind in the divorce, after all here you have been for this person and now left alone to survive, alimony helps you get a start. alimony is paid for either lengthy amount of time or short time or even just while the divorce process is taking place, it all depends on certain things.
So today what I am telling you to do is make sure you get it right and do your research..and ask questions
These are two important things I think are important to add to your divorce process. I have wrote several divorce blogs containing information about divorce mediation and how it can help the process go so much smoother. A divorce mediator is there to see both sides, then help the spouses see both sides of what is going on and help them work through the divorce process on usually what both sides want. Divorce mediation can speed up a divorce process big time, it basically stops all the screaming and shouting of going around in circles of what both spouses want. Not to say there will not be fights in your divorce. But a divorce mediator can help smooth things over. In most cases spouses were very happy with the divorce mediation process and remember a divorce mediator does not need to be kept on for the entire divorce process unless you choose to do so. Also take a look at the past mediation blogs on all the information.
Therapy is another thing that I think spouses should do. Talking to someone is important, and especially if there are children involved in the divorce. Take the time wither you want to or not and get your family in to talk to someone, not only will it allow you to get things off your chest about your divorce, but with children they often view the divorce as their fault, so a therapist can be a huge help in showing this is not true. It also allows the whole family to talk together.
Divorce is never easy, but doing things to help the process such as mediation and therapy are 2 important things. Looking towards your future and making it the best you can is important. Fighting does not get you anywhere. But make sure you get what you deserve in the divorce, that's where mediation can help, where you might give up on the fight, the divorce mediator can keep you pushing! Therapy helps you release all that is bothering you!
Think about your future!
We have been over this a few times, not only preparing for your divorce, in finding the right divorce lawyer, and making sure that you understand everything you need to get together for your divorce, such as knowing all your assets and debt, to tax issues etc...but preparing your life for after divorce. In some cases Alimony can help you step back on your feet a little easier after a divorce, so make sure to go over that with your divorce lawyer, and please refer to the alimony blogs on what it takes to receive alimony after a divorce. Also temporary alimony during the divorce process, most spouses can get that just right during the process to help them find and settle into a new life a bit easier, but there are many other things you need to do, to prepare your life for after the divorce. It is never easy and really something we do not want to think about, but again this is one of those times you need to think of yourself and your future, you want to make the best out of your life, never let it get you down. I always like to remember and say to myself that, when one door closes, a window will open. We may not always understand what's going on in our lives, but sometimes there is a bigger purpose that we realize later on, even divorce.
So make sure to do some life preparations and make the best out of things!
You of course do want to set up your own checking account, I have mentioned this before and it makes transferring money in the divorce a lot easier. I think a checking account is something we should all have any ways, yes a joint account for the marriage and also a separate.
Also make sure to establish some sort of credit for after the divorce, so you have your own credit, now this does not mean run out get a bunch of credit cards, run them up..it does mean get a few credit cards or a small loan, do something such as establish a new place to live etc...and make sure to pay it back off. This goes on your credit score beautifully by paying it back off.
It is also important to have a job of course, and this may be where a little alimony after a divorce kicks in, if you have been a stay at home mom or house wife and now here you are in a divorce, and either need more schooling to get back into the work force, or find a job, alimony can kick in here.
Also I always think its important no matter what, when your going through a divorce you need some one to talk to, we may think a therapist is dumb, but it can make all the difference in the world for you and your family.