February 2009 - Posts
Yes the weekend might be here, but that does not mean, I do not check in to see if there are any divorce and child support questions. Sometimes I do sit and think about your divorce questions and child support before I answer them. I believe even having some one else's opinion and for them to find you the best information possible on your divorce and child support is important.
Everyone as I ended my divorce blog yesterday, everyone needs a little help in life. I wish some people would not be afraid to get things off their chest or talk about their divorce and child support issues. Getting opinions and information for your divorce is important.
Mae sure you ask away. So I suppose some basic things to leave the weekend with is.
Make sure and never be afraid to ask questions on divorce and child support, even if its something to do with a word, term or even phrase used in the divorce papers, sometimes letting the simplest thing go, that you think is no big deal, can be a huge one. I have even done a couple blogs on divorce and other legal terms.
If your using this time in your divorce to go over your divorce papers, make sure you read everything and again ask questions. Knowing whats in there is IMPORTANT.
If your using this time to start a divorce process, make sure your researching several divorce lawyers, getting a list of what you and your spouse have acquired over the years, do not be left in the dark and not get your fair share! Look at everything, even taxes, alimony..etc..
I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I will be checking in!
Well I seem to be running a pinch late in life today, but I want everyone to know I always have time to look at what ever you need. Making sure you get the right information and asking questions when it comes to your divorce is important and child support also. If your new to the community here, make sure to look around. There is a lot of divorce and child support information in the tag area, you can click a state and get information on divorce in your area. Now if you need information on divorce in your area please ask. One of the things I love to do in life is help others, and got into this watching other family and friends not get the right information or just not ask questions and let people walk all over them. I wanted to make sure that I could help others, and if you do have a question, I can look up the information on your divorce and child support issues and help as much as I can. Also remember this is a place you can kick back and get things of your chest, things that are bothering you in your divorce.
So always feel free to ask away, believe me no question is silly....we all are different, and we all need a little help in life.
So today I just wanted to jump in here and make sure everyone understands the importance of researching your divorce and child support lawyers, we have talked a lot about researching your divorce lawyer, but in most cases child support does come right along with a divorce, and most lawyers that work in the divorce field handle child support issues also. It is still important to research your child support lawyer even if that's all your going for. You can call you local bar association and also get a listing and information on divorce and child support lawyers.
Most people jump into the first divorce lawyer they hear about by word of mouth, or the first ad in a listing, this is something you do not want to do when it comes to your divorce and child support. Yes it is ok to listen to people and not saying the divorce or child support lawyer they used was not good, but it is also good for you to look at things, do a little research and see what divorce or child support lawyer your you like. Ad's are very important, if a divorce or child support lawyer can list in big ad's can sometimes mean they are a bit further along, well known, and used a lot, but does not mean to over look the smaller ad's, check and see, and meet with several and ask to see some of their work, divorce and child support lawyers will have a book, with of course no personal information, but cases they have worked and how they turned out, so make sure to ask to see their past history.
And ask questions, just like here getting all the information you can is important, and do not be afraid to ask questions.........
With all the issues with the economy right now, and going through a divorce, we may not be thinking of everything we need to be. Asking questions is very important and researching your divorce lawyer. Many people of course want to get their divorce done and over with, but you also need to make sure that you are getting what's fair in the divorce, do not let a spouse take you, because you are in a hurry and just want to move on fast. I have done many blogs on what you need to do before filing or when you file for divorce and one of those is knowing everything that you have so that you can get it split right down the middle. You never want to look back and say, I really wish I would have pushed harder for this in the divorce. Asking questions wither its your divorce lawyer or others and getting answers is very important, sometimes I feel we do not want people to look at us like we should know this....ASK, no question is every silly and its important that you do ask, so that you can understand!
Today I just want people to know they never need to feel insecure about asking questions when it comes to their divorce or child support issues. This is your future, its important!
I guess I wanted to take a moment just to give some more thoughts on the question of is it easier to get divorced basically in other states. Unfortunately divorce is really never easy, and moving to another state and trying to divorce there is not easy either. I think when you are planning a divorce, unless it is a major issue of abuse, which if you are being abused you need to have proof and confide in someone you can trust to help, and there are places to help you get out and be safe, never think there is not a way if you are scared...THERE IS! But for basic, this marriage is not working, adultery whatever the case, moving and then trying to divorce can just be even more stressful...now if you have found a great job to support yourself and want to move, or for family help, I even suggest you start the divorce in the state you reside in, just with information I have read, things can just get really tough and each state has a time limit to how long you need to live there, before starting the divorce process, but again this is totally your decision if you want to move and divorce. But if your wanting the divorce to go smoother, I suggest staying in your area, with information I have researched. Now a lot of times even when the divorce process has started and you need to move for a job, that can happen. Divorce lawyers work up something and then you will more then likely have to come back for divorce trial or signing of the divorce papers, but make sure your divorce lawyer always keeps you up to speed on everything that is going on, and remember researching your divorce lawyer is so very important. Making sure you ave also give your divorce lawyer every way possible to contact you!
I am sure as the day goes on I will have more thoughts and read more information. I know there was more in there when I started this divorce blog this morning. Remember to ask questions, they are one of the most important things you will do in your divorce process.
ALONG WITH Read your divorce papers before signing!!!
So here is some information on a question asked on currently living in Ohio, but moving back to Texas, is it easier to get divorce in Texas or Ohio. No matter where you get divorce there are issues. One of the questions I like to ask is, does your spouse currently know that you are going to separate and move to Texas without him knowing and get a divorce, first off this could be a very bad move. I also like to tell people to go ahead and start researching divorce lawyers in their area and divorce in the state that they are now in. Most states have a time limit on how long you must live in the state before filing for divorce, it is never good to move out of state and now be fighting back and forth state to state....and in some cases if you are not moving for a job or family to live with to get back on your feet, a spouse can have you return to the state that you resided in before the divorce. Both Texas and Ohio run the same, you must live in each state 6 months before filing for divorce. Ohio you can state in the divorce the reasons why the marriage did not make it, and if both spouses are for the divorce things can go smoother in Ohio, where Texas is completely insupportable, and stated that way in the divorce papers, if you have been abused or other extreme cases, then a separate suit has to go on. My answer to you is do not make in sudden changes, research your divorce lawyers and share all your information with your divorce lawyer and divorce within the state you are in now, it will make the process a little easier and also state to your divorce lawyer that you are wanting to move back to Texas, now this may change child support also, remember child support is based on both parents incomes, and you may have to split cost of the child's visitations with its father, so make sure the move is just not to get away from a spouse, make sure it is where you want to be and live.
I think it is also important to not spring a divorce on anyone, I think people should sit back and think about how they would feel. If there is no major abuse and you are not scared of your spouse, at least try to sit down and talk. Moving out of state and taking a child and then springing a divorce could get very nasty. You can always find a friend to reside with until the divorce is over. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask. Questions are how you get things answered, and make sure you are making the right decisions.
Reading through some comments and questions this morning in the divorce area, I realized I also had a question similar to one last week, about health insurance, one I was not completely sure in this question if the spouses are still married or if a divorce has went through, a lot of times when it does come to health insurance in a divorce, you are going to have to go out and get your own, unless your spouse and you come to an agreement of some sorts, and then still in a divorce usually most companies will not allow unmarried to carry health insurance, so unless a spouse is directly paying out, and its in the divorce agreement, health insurance is something you are usually going to have to carry on your own. But this comes back to, verbal agreements and written agreements in a divorce, if there is something you want, and you agree, make sure it is in your divorce papers
So then the second question comes about being entitled to part of your husbands pay after being married for 31 years, I also read that you have moved, out of state, one of the important things I try to remind people is not to move during a divorce, it can off set things and some times prolong, but the only way to know if your entitled to part of his pay is what is usually referred to as alimony in a divorce, now this is where the divorce courts sit down and look at several things, how long was the marriage, age of the spouses in the divorce, has one spouse quit job or schooling to be a stay at home mom, so the divorce courts take a good look to see if you are entitled to alimony in a divorce, but if your living on your own and have been and now want to try and get alimony it may be a little tough, alimony is known as a spousal support, and is usually there to help a spouse get back on their feet and adjust to the divorce and living on ones own.
Divorce can be very confusing, make sure that you research your lawyers, reopening a divorce case to get things can be a tough situation and not always able to be done.
How can you really prepare, it is one of those things that take us a lot of times by surprise. Some times we are expecting it and it is mutual, when the divorce takes place, and in other times you had no time to even prepare for being served with the divorce papers. Now you can prepare yourself to do your best, get what you want and not let any one walk all over you, preparing in one way is finding your divorce lawyer, now you also need to get life prepared, do you have a job, have you been a stay at home mom, did you quit school to support your family in being a stay at home? Remember alimony is a huge discussion there with your divorce lawyer. Preparing also means getting your life set up with your own checking and line of credit...so be strong is one of the things I like to tell people, stand up and be strong, and remember, divorce is not the end of the world, I know it is hard, but one day you may look back and thank it for happening so remember that. Preparing, I like to tell people counseling is so important, if you feel you may not need it, look at your children and join in with them, its important that children have an understanding that the divorce is not their fault, I have said it a billion times, children have a different way of looking and viewing things then we do, so take time to get the whole family in to talk. Preparing is about reading those divorce papers before you sign anything, as we have discussed all week, make sure if there is something you want that it is PUT in writing. Preparing is asking as many questions as you need to!
Preparing is being strong!!!! And you are!
So the last few days we have been talking about the importance of what is in your divorce papers, and the importance, of no verbal agreements, things need to be put in writing. One of the things about finding your divorce lawyer and then working with them is the fact that they know that verbal agreements will not last long. things need to be put in writing, and one of the things when you are now in the divorce process and working with your divorce lawyer is the fact that you need to share everything that is going on, you need to let your divorce lawyer know everything, how the divorce come about, fights, letters, voice messages, all of these things are important in the divorce process. One it helps your divorce lawyer to know how to work to get you what you need in the divorce and that there will be no surprises when and if the divorce goes to court.
I have said many times working with your divorce lawyer and making sure that your available for all the legal matters and meets, are very important, another thing is that you and your divorce lawyer working together need to have information such as how your divorce lawyer can reach you at any kind of emergency or something very important on your divorce, and that's one thing a good divorce lawyer does is keep you up to speed on everything that is going on in the divorce. So make sure to give all resources such as phone, cell, email. fax, so that your divorce lawyer can reach you and even send information right then, instead of having to drive into the office every 5 minutes, and you should also be able to reach your divorce lawyer.
So the last few days I feel have been very important and a good learning experience for anybody going through a divorce or preparing for one.
We all need help at some point in our lives, wither it is a day to day moment or big issues such as divorce, asking questions and learning is some of the help we need, just as in yesterdays blog, learning how important it is, if you and your spouse agree on something, that having it put in writing in your divorce papers, is the biggest thing you can do, verbal agreements can be broken at any time, so when making an agreement, make sure it is in your divorce papers, wither it is dealing with child support, who pays for day care, who pays for medical, or even health insurance on both you and your children. I stress that reading over your divorce papers is one of the most important things you will do in your divorce process. The first one of course finding your divorce lawyer, then making sure that you and your divorce lawyer keep in contact on everything, and you also share everything that is going on, such as, my spouse said they will do this, it needs to be written in the divorce papers, so that agreements if broken, can be quickly fixed. That's why I say reading your divorce papers from top to bottom, side to side, up and down, every word, of course you can skim over it, but what if something like, he will pay my health insurance for such and such of time is now not in there but you thought it was, reading over your papers will make you notice that. Never be afraid to ask a friend for help, to have them read over your papers also, having a second party you trust is good, you can tell them the things to look over and if it is not in there, they can be the one that helps you.
One of the great things here at divorce and child is being able to ask questions, and never sign anything before you read it! Never be afraid to ask for help!
Reading a reply this morning to a blog makes me want to recap on a few things, hmm not sure I would say recapping any certain area, but one the importance of your divorce lawyer, researching is so very important, said it so many times that finding the right divorce lawyer can make all the difference in the world. We have also talked about the many steps to take when deciding or going through a divorce, like getting your own bank account, establishing some credit, job, etc...all those are important to setting up your new life after the divorce and stepping out on your own. Also one of those steps was finding your own health insurance, I have mention in those blogs that health insurance can be carried over in some cases for a certain amount of time,during the divorce and a time after, until a spouse gets settled with their own health insurance, but in most cases that is a short amount of time after the divorce. So this question was that a divorce that took place years ago and a spouse was nice enough to keep paying health insurance even longer then in most cases. Now here is where certain things come into play, the question I have for the person is, was it stated in your divorce papers that your spouse would continue to pay health insurance on you even after the divorce, or was it a verbal agreement, unfortunately if it was a verbal agreement and many years have passed, well there is not much you can do about it, but if it was written in the divorce papers, then simple, take it back to court....so now another thing comes into play with the information that I have given over the months, reading your divorce papers from top to bottom, page for page, because now here is where the fine print comes in.....did it state in the divorce papers at any time he could drop you from the health insurance or remarriage of a spouse. Reading your divorce papers is really one of the most important things you will ever do. If there is nothing to do with health insurance in your divorce papers, well then more then likely the hunt of finding your own health insurance begins, and my heart goes out to anybody and everybody fighting this economy to survive and then having to add another bill to the mix, good luck and check those divorce papers!