January 2009 - Posts
There are many reasons this site is here, not only to help you research information on your divorce, find a divorce lawyer in your area, read about things that you may have many questions about, this is also a place where if you do need to get something of your chest, you can. Divorce and child support issues are never easy, I have said it once and I will say it again. Some divorce can go so very smoothly where some are drawn out for over a year and even longer, fighting about things. When you have questions about your divorce or child support issues please feel free to ask, no question is a silly question, remember that, you are not a lawyer, and I am not a lawyer, so we need help. I love being able to help others, and look up the best possible answer and research your questions, and find you the best information I can on your divorce and child support questions. I will say there are certain things when it comes to your divorce that are very important, finding a great divorce lawyer, even if it means meeting with several! Making sure you ASK all questions about things you do not understand about your divorce, and make sure to read those divorce papers. Of course there are so many more things that are extremely important also, and I recap on those a lot, but remember, ask questions, get answers, research your information. You deserve what is rightfully yours in your divorce!
I hope everyone has a safe weekend, and my heart goes out to all those that have been in this ice storm and snow storms path, be safe and remember, talk.....ask.....release stress and write something!
So taking a moment, just to let everyone that is around the site going through divorce or child support issues, reading, or trying to get comfortable with the site to know that at any time questions on child support and divorce can be asked. Even if you are having a stressful day and just need to get something off your chest that is happening in your divorce and or child support cases. Giving a little update to child support and taxes yesterday, and sitting here this morning, I think sometimes people feel they may ask the wrong thing or come across misunderstood. There is never a stupid question when it comes to your divorce and child support, and its better to ask questions and get the information you need, rather then not knowing and well end up back in court. Sometimes when you do ask questions, if I am not completely understanding of it, remember I ask questions about your divorce and child support to be able to research the best possible information for you, so never feel that me asking questions is a bad thing.
This is a place where we can ask each other questions on divorce and child support and I can even research your state information for divorce and child support law. I am a person that just loves helping others!
Divorce and child support issues can be very stressful and I think asking questions is just as important as researching your divorce or child support lawyer. It is also good to talk to someone when going through a divorce, I think it helps families move on, so if your not ready or feel the need not to see a counselor, you can talk about your divorce and child support issues here.
I wish everyone a great weekend, and remember always feel free to ask questions or get something off your chest.
As you know each state has a different way of governing divorce, there is both fault based divorce and no fault based divorce, just depending on the state you live in...depends on what category you fall into, and some states have both in the divorce. Divorce grounds have a lot to do with wither a divorce will be granted, it depends a lot on how things go in the divorce, but does not govern on who gets what, but can make up for some major decisions and how things are looked at. So here is a refresher on divorce grounds.
Adultery is grounds for divorce.
If your spouse has a mental disorder or insanity, is grounds for divorce.
Indignities are grounds for divorce.
Desertion is grounds for divorce, and EACH state has a different time line on how long you can be left in desertion.
Cruel treatment and abuse in you marriage is grounds for divorce.
Bigamy is grounds for divorce.
If your spouse is in imprisonment is grounds for divorce.
Now some states even have more, these are the major grounds for divorce in most states. The no fault based grounds for divorce means that no spouse is blaming each other or the divorce, just means that it is not working out between them and the divorce process starts without a blame when papers are served. Both fault can get very rough and even hurtful in divorce court. Your divorce lawyer of course can tell you what grounds apply for your state and there is also some state to state information on divorce here. Let me know if you need any divorce information looked up for your state, I may also recap on a few states this week. Hope everyone had a safe and wonderful weekend.
I get so confused sometimes on some of the legal terms, used in divorce along with other areas of law. So I thought this morning we would hit over a few legal terms for divorce and well other areas of law also. I know understanding some of the legal terms in your divorce and child support papers are so very important, and that should also be another divorce reminder. If there is even words you do not understand in your divorce papers, never feel uncomfortable asking somebody or your divorce lawyer, this is one of the reasons we hire a divorce lawyer, because this is not the field of work we went into. So lets go over a few divorce and legal terms and if there is any that you have questions on even in your divorce papers now, feel free to ask away!
Absolute Divorce: this is the end of the divorce, everything is done and finalized. The marriage is legally over for both spouses.
Action: that is a word we just here a lot in life, so what does it mean when referring to your divorce and other areas of law. Well it is a proceeding or a lawsuit in a court of law.
Agreement: means both parties wither in a divorce or any other areas of law, have done a verbal and written resolution to any issues that were being disputed in the case.
Answer: this means that the person has had to have a (Written) which is important, response* of any complaints, petitions or motions, again this can be through your divorce or anything legally.
Alimony: which we have also talked about last week, is a payment that is made to support one spouse by another after a divorce is finalized, a spousal support is also a term used in the area of Alimony.
Annulment: a certain amount of time you have to void out a marriage: each state varies on when an annulment can take place and can not.
Appeal: we have also talked about this, this is part of why understanding your divorce papers and reading them is so important so you do not have to appeal, and well other areas of law, you can appeal, right away in the court room, if you do not like the ruling. but what does appeal mean, means you do not agree with the decision made in court and you request that it is taken to a higher court to be reviewed.
If there are any other terms you have questions on...ask away, understanding every part of your divorce papers or any other legal matter for that is so very important, hope these make things a little smoother.
So yesterday we talked a little bit about getting prepared for your life after divorce, some of the important steps you need to take to secure your future a bit, and we also talked about the importance of a job. I mentioned alimony, so I thought that a brief discussion this morning on alimony after a divorce would be a good way to start Thursday, if you are worried about that part, finding a job, maybe even having to go back to school, and here you were a stay at home mother, that has not worked for years, well there is alimony after a divorce,and even temporary alimony during the divorce process. So lets go over a few things that the your divorce lawyer will discuss with you in trying to get you alimony, and what the divorce courts look at themselves. Alimony after a divorce is never to be a punishment to a spouse, it is a spousal support, a support to help another get back on their feet, especially if they have quit schooling for a better place in the work force or even a job to be a stay at home wife. So here is a few things the divorce courts look at
The overall mental health, physical health and age of the spouse that will be receiving the alimony after the divorce is finalized.
Debts that the receiving spouse will be taking on after the divorce.
The earning capabilities of the receiving spouse for alimony after the divorce. How hard will it be for them to find a job along with will they have to go back to school, to get a better place in the work force.
How long the marriage was before ending in either a separation first of divorce. If there is children involved and are they use to a stay at home parent.
There are many things that are looked at, and also everything ties into how long alimony after a divorce will be paid. Alimony after a divorce can be paid well until one of the spouses pass, retirement or laid off work....or a remarriage of the RECEIVING spouse. Alimony can be paid for a very lengthy amount of time or just a short amount of time to allow a spouse to get their feet back on the ground. Age, health, and the length of the marriage have A LOT to do with the length of the alimony.
Have you just filed for divorce? Are you thinking about a divorce? Have you just been hit with divorce papers? Divorce is a rough time, and I have said it before, sometimes your a little more prepared, and then sometimes your kind of hit with a bombshell. What ever the case is your looking at, you do have to think about your future and getting yourself prepared, for life after your divorce. So which ever it is, if your filing, thinking of filing or have been hit with divorce papers, there are certain steps I think are important to do and get your life prepared. So lets go through a few steps and remember even if your getting a divorce and you feel like your life is just crumbling, its not, keep your chin up. Life does not always throw us beautiful things, but we can take something and make it beautiful. When a door closes a window opens, so keep strong...So now here is some steps to go through to prepare yourself for your divorce and life after the divorce is all over with.
If you do not already have a checking account in your name well now is the time to do so, it is very important, and can make money transfers in the divorce easier also.
Form your own line of credit, this does not mean go get a bunch of loans and credit cards and have a shopping spree, although at times it does sound like fun..but lets get serious and I will stop giggling now, hope that if you are down about your divorce, that put a smile on your face :) but forming a line of credit for future after the divorce, your own financial standing, you can get a credit card even 2, use them on something and pay them right back off, this establishes you in the credit world, especially if you have not had anything in your name and now your getting a divorce, you need your own line of credit.
As crazy as you think it is, and say you do not need a therapist because your going through a divorce....go see one, talking to someone other then family can free a lot of pent up pressure and allow you to express yourself and get an opinion on things along with opening up. Therapy is so important, and also for children, that are in the divorce also, its good for the entire family.
A job, if you have been unemployed and a stay at home mom, an now your on your own that can be one of the most scariest points of a divorce, but now remember and there are several blogs on alimony after a divorce and may not hurt for me to do a refresh on that one for people. Alimony after a divorce is something you need to talk to your divorce lawyer about if you have been unemployed now. Its a spousal support until your back on your feet with a job and even schooling to return to the work force.
You also need to look into your own health insurance, if you have been on your spouses plan, sometimes in a divorce, it will allow you to be carried over for a certain amount of time, so always check that, so gives you time to look for health insurance.
One more important thing is make sure you have copies of everything such as prenuptial agreements, property you both own, so that in the divorce you can not be taken and left with nothing, leave the copies with someone you trust and also make sure your divorce lawyer gets copies of everything.
Remember to smile, divorce is rough, but as I said, beautiful things can come out of something we may not understand at the moment, and remember you can ask questions here along with just writing to get something off your chest!
So yesterday we talked a little bit about just getting it right your divorce. There is so many mistakes that you can make,one of the biggest mistakes is being extremely nice to your spouse thinking that either you will win them back. You are in a divorce, time to think of yourself here, your future, nothing wrong with remaining neutral, but its time for you to get what you deserve, and I am sure that's what your divorce lawyer will tell you. So now lets run over a few other things that people seem to make mistakes of in their divorce.
Not knowing what you have property wise in the divorce, even debt wise, it is so important to know what you have acquired over the years. So now it is time to sit down and make a list of all your property your debt, stocks, bonds, you name it. So make sure you know what you have, so that you do not just get debt in the divorce.
I believe one of the most important things you can also do is talk to someone, not a family member, they always take sides and basically tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear, its good to get some sort of counseling when going through a divorce. If there are children in the divorce it is important for them to have counseling also, its good for the whole family, helps people move on and realize things are not your fault or theirs.
Another thing people seem to ignore is taxes, keep an eye on your taxes, they can come back to bite, if you do not get things straightened out when you divorce.
Make sure that your not spending to much time letting your divorce lawyer gather information for you, get in there, help and know what is going on in your divorce, ask questions about your divorce. So many people set back and just have no idea what is going on, make sure you do, make sure you know what your getting and not getting.
READ YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS BEFORE YOU SIGN THEM!!!!
Even if your not the one wanting the divorce, you still need to think about your future, so think about what you do want, stay in control of the situation, take control of your future!
And remember we are hear to listen if you just need to scream, we all need to do that from time to time!
It is the new year...it is time if your going through a divorce, thinking about a divorce, been hit by divorce papers, to get it right...one of the things I have always loved doing in my life, is helping others. so even if I can give people information to better themselves and get through things with a little help it makes me smile.
What made me get into helping people with their divorce, not really helping but in a way it is, I love finding the best information possible to give people that are going though a divorce and even child support issues. I think that this is such a hard time in anyone's life that we all need a helping hand, we don't always think clearly at this time and we need others to help us through. A divorce lawyer, i must give so much credit to, they really are amazing when it comes to helping with your divorce. I will say it time and time again, finding a great divorce lawyer to help you with your divorce is one of the most important things you will ever do along with how many times have I reminded you of this...READ YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS :) I am sure most of you that read the divorce blogs on a regular basis realize I pound that into your head, but they are both so very important.
So if your new year is unfortunately starting with a divorce or going through the divorce process please pick up at chin of yours and if you have any questions please ask, I enjoy helping others and remember this is a place if you just need to talk about your divorce and child support issues, well you can do that.
But with all that make sure you start off and get your divorce riht!
Look and search your divorce lawyers.
Have somebody you can talk to and trust.
Read your divorce papers.
THINK OF YOUR FUTURE.....don't let your spouse be extra sweet or make you feel guilty over something they want. It's your time get it right...so tomorrow I think would be a good day to hit on DIVORCE MISTAKES.
Again Happy New Year and remember you have questions, ask them....you have friends here!
I think that divorce mediation is a good way to start a conversation for the year. Wanting a smooth divorce with not a lot of arguments, is important, for divorce is a very stressful thing. So for those that are going through a divorce, thinking about divorce, and knowing its going to be a long fight. I think it is important to incorporate divorce mediation into your process. Divorce mediation does so many things. Stops a lot of drawn out fights, along with helping get things figured out a little quicker. So here is a list of what divorce mediation and mediators can help you with in your divorce process.
* One is that a mediator can help act as a closer in your divorce…this means; it helps the people in the divorce come to a close on certain things, instead of letting things drag on, they can help *CLOSE* an argument, by giving you the best way to accomplish things.
* A divorce mediator should always be neutral between the couple divorcing, not taking sides within an argument but finding ways for you both to resolve things in the divorce.
* A divorce mediator is only voluntary, which means the mediation can end as soon as the parties want it, you do not have to keep the divorce mediator on for the entire process.
* I also think being able to share your stories and information with each other during mediation allows you to accomplish things better, during a mediation a divorce mediator can point out things each person should know about one another to help better understand each others situation.
* Good information to know. When a divorce mediator is used it helps resolve 50-80% of all divorce cases. Without a divorce mediator, things would have dragged on, or couples still fighting over things years after. And remember you can always bring your lawyer to mediation. Most coupled say when they use a divorce mediator the divorce process went so much smoother then they thought, and things were resolved so much quicker.
So Happy New Year to you all and no fighting in 2009!!!!