October 2008 - Posts
There is help out there for people that can not afford a divorce, and also good help. There are lawyers just starting out that are amazing and end up being some of the best!
So today I am going to go through a list and recap about a few of the programs that are out there to help people that NEED that divorce lawyer, but just can not afford it. I have always stressed that finding that perfect divorce lawyer is important, but everyone needs a little help.
I also want to take time to say yes it is Friday of Halloween...So a happy Halloween to everyone out there and be safe. Also to have a safe holiday and weekend and think about other people out there tonight!
So now back to business. I am one that loves to research and help people and it makes me feel good, and divorce is a hard time in everyone life and then you may be dealing with a billion other issues around you in life. Take time to take a deep breath sit for a moment and lets think about what is important and our future. So if you are needing a divorce and you just can not afford your divorce lawyer here is a few programs that may just help you.
* There are federal funded programs for your divorce. They are done by your staff attorneys, these are the ones that are getting their experience in.
* There are pro bono programs for divorce, now these are your local divorce lawyers, that have put in to help with this program, but now you must qualify to use these divorce programs such as be over the age of 65 or be having health issues that will qualify your. Contact your local bar association.
* There are also self help clinics for divorce that are provided by your local bar association also. Now what these do is allow you to call them and they can send you in the right direction for where to find your divorce lawyer, or if you qualify for any of theirs.
* There are also court house facilitators for divorce, they can help process your legal claims, the best thing to do here is call your local courthouse and see if there is one available to help you with your divorce.
* There are several low cost legal programs especially for low income families for divorce and also public defender organizations. Remember all you have to do is pick up your phone and call your local bar association or courthouse to see what programs are available and tell them your issues.
Have a happy Halloween, be safe! If you have questions feel free to ask or just remember you can start a forum to get things off your chest about your divorce or child support issues. We all need a helping hand or a lending ear!
This may be the last important thing you do in your divorce. This can stop a spouse from having to reopen a divorce case. Or go back weeks even years later and have something changed. I have mentioned about reading my parents divorce papers and noticing birth dates that were wrong in the divorce papers, yes minor but still IMPORTANT. Everything in your divorce papers are important. I suppose this is a matter that can not be stressed enough in your divorce. If you have taken the time to select your divorce lawyer. You have went through the fight of the divorce to work for what is rightfully yours. Well now is the time to take those papers, grab a cup of hot tea or what ever is your comfort drink and kick back and READ. No not just skim over the highlighted parts like your getting ready for a test, but read every last word in your divorce papers.
Now you need to be looking for things that may be wrong in the divorce papers. Are dates correct, debt and property division. If there is children is all the calculations been stated right and custody. Even simple typing mistakes really do need to all be corrected in your divorce papers if they are wrong. Believe me its not fun to do. It is not the one thing you want to sit down and get into and read, but your divorce papers just as finding the great divorce lawyer is important. Listen to your divorce lawyer, a good one will tell you to take the time to read over your divorce papers.
If you have waited and read the papers after they have been signed and the divorce is all over with you sometimes in some states have a time limit to get things fixed, without having to reopen the case. Things such as property and debt division if you notice they are wrong, but honestly each state is different on how long after the divorce papers have been signed that you can do that. To appeal and reopen a divorce case can be a very costly matter.
In most divorce cases. I am going to say yes, in the research that I have read over and the things I have seen. It also does really depend on what you have at stake in your divorce. If your saying no to getting a divorce lawyer just to save money and do it yourself. You could cost yourself so much down the road. Yes divorce is a such a stressful time. But in times like this we do need to try to think about our future, our futures are important and again I can not stress the importance of a divorce lawyer. There are so many amazing divorce lawyers out there, and they help people everyday. I sometimes think they do not get the credit that they deserve, but moving on with the divorce question a person ask everyday. Do I need a divorce lawyer. Well lets take a look at a few things and you need to sit down and ask yourself some questions about what is at stake in your divorce such as.
* Estate, is there one involved in the divorce, is there a lot of property to divide and settle in this divorce, also debt, I mean who wants to end up with all the debt while one spouse takes it all because they hired a great divorce lawyer. So take time sit down and think about what is to be divided and split in the divorce. It is very important that things are split equally in a divorce, but if your doing the divorce yourself. Well a lot may be overlooked.
* If there is children involved in the divorce, I think a person yes definitely needs a divorce lawyer, issues with child support and child custody can get very nasty. So you want a person there that knows how to handle every issue!
So those are a few questions to ask yourself along with many many others about the importance of a divorce lawyer. Now of course if there is not a lot at stake in the divorce, the marriage is short term, no children etc..then a divorce lawyer is not always needed. I will say in most cases though researching and finding a divorce lawyer is the most important thing a person will do in their divorce.
Most of these I am naming today can also be used in other areas of lawsuits and the terms we hear in divorce.
I first wanted to start off this Friday morning with a reminder. This is a place to get information on your divorce and child support, ask questions you may need answered, but also if there is something you just need to just get off your chest about your divorce or other legal matters at that, write about it. Divorce is never easy, even if you are both wanting the divorce, you know its coming, there is that part in you that needs questions answered. So remember even if you have no question to ask, and just need to get something off your chest about your divorce, have at it. So many people stay bottled up through their divorce that it is not healthy. One of the reasons I stress that it is important to talk to someone other then a family member in a divorce.
So now back to a few things that can get a bit confusing in divorce or other legal issue papers. I have to say I do not even understand them all, so one of the things I always say to you is, if you have a question in your divorce papers always remember to get a clarification with your divorce lawyer. So lets just go over a few legal terms. We could spend months trying to understand them all.
* Action in your legal or divorce papers...Is the proceeding or a lawsuit in a court of law.
*Agreement in your legal or divorce papers...means that both parties in the legal matter have come to a written or verbal agreement resolution to the dispute in the legal matter.
*Answer in legal or divorce papers...a written, which is very important in your legal issue response of any complaints, petitions or motions.
Alimony in a divorce...is a payment made to a spouse for spousal support after the divorce.
*Annulment in a divorce...each state is different on time limit to annul a marriage before having to get a lawyer for a divorce.
*Appeal in a legal or divorce papers...means you do not agree right in the court with the decisions made and you want to appeal it.
*Alias Summons... papers are not served being in a divorce papers or other documents to a person
Please feel free to ask any questions. even if it is about a legal term not mentioned.
So lets hit a nail on the head again! I find it important to recap over extremely important divorce information from time to time and this is one of them! Over the last couple days we have just been over things that are important in knowing in a divorce, basically if you can reopen a divorce case, but honestly there was a little something more that was suppose to come form the recap of those divorce blogs. The importance of researching your divorce lawyer and NEVER being in a hurry to get through your divorce. Yes you want it over but YES you want it done right. You want to get what is yours in the divorce and if you have put in years of your life for a person, there are other things that you can get in the divorce to help you. Such as alimony and pension. So lets take a look at something. You need to take the time to find the right divorce lawyer. SO you have to do a little research so do it and once you find the divorce lawyer that you like there are going to be responsibilities for both. Lets take a look at some of the important things you need to do from your end.
1. Make sure that you give your divorce lawyer all of your contact information , yes email, fax, phone, the easier it is for your divorce lawyer to contact your or send you information, the smoother things will go. So give them every way of contacting you. So if you don't hear your phone another avenue is open right then!
2. ALWAYS always always be truthful with your lawyer about everything, give them every piece of information you know. You do not want to be in the middle of the divorce in court and wham something comes up from the other side!
3. You really should always try to be available for all of the divorce legal proceedings, they are very important.
4. Another thing is always pay your legal bills on time, now remember divorce lawyer will work with you a lot of them set up payment plans....so that is another thing that when you are researching divorce lawyers. ASK!
NOW your divorce lawyer has responsibilities towards you....lets take a look at a few of those.
1. Your divorce lawyer should research all the legal issues in your divorce case. They should also ask you questions such as pension and alimony information on either spouse. A good divorce lawyer will look at everything and research it.
2. A divorce lawyer must always represent you within bounds of law.
3. Just as you gave your divorce lawyer all your contact information. Your divorce lawyer should now contact you on everything important.
4. I like to stress this one....there should be no personal relationship between you and your divorce lawyer.
5. Your divorce lawyer should never mix your divorce information with anybody else's. And never give your information to anyone else. Your divorce lawyer needs to be loyal to you.
6. Legally a divorce lawyer must follow all the information you give them. But it is so important for client and lawyer to work together on the divorce case.
If you have any questions as always please feel free to ask!
We talked a little yesterday about reopening a divorce case due to a husbands pension. So I decided this morn to talk more about reopening a divorce case itself. It is really hard to reopen a divorce case wither it is dealing with what we discussed yesterday your husbands pension or to reopen for other reasons. I always stress the importance of a good divorce lawyer. It does pay off in the long run to do a little research on your divorce lawyers and when you go to choose. I do know most the time people are in such a hurry to just get it over with that they pay for it in the long run and sometimes do not even realize it. It can be with how property was split and debt were split. To simple typing errors that changed something. It can be that you could have received alimony and did not take the time to do so. So remember think about the importance of a good divorce lawyer. Then you may not have to reopen a divorce case or wish that you could. As I have said before read your divorce papers all the way through before you sign anything!
Now reopening a divorce case of course can be done. But just as I discussed with husbands pension. You need to have hard evidence to why the case needs to be reopened. You can not simply reopen it because you decided you did not get enough. Now you have to research a good divorce lawyer to reopen the case. Now a case can be reopened to explain things that you misunderstood in the divorce itself, but you can not expect to get anything from that. You need to show hard evidence that you were misguided, that there was unfairness, even misconduct or fraud in the divorce. So there is a lot to go through to reopen, but if you feel that you were dealing with any of those above and have your proof you and your new divorce lawyer can go after it! But let me stress the importance of getting it right the first time around..............RESEARCH your divorce lawyers.
This is something that tends to be overlooked in a lot of divorce cases. Another reason I stress getting a good divorce lawyer is due to the fact that a lot of things tend to be overlooked in divorce cases such as a husbands pension. Pension a lot of times now does have a lot to do with the length of the marriage. Just as we discussed yesterday, alimony, child support can both be received in a divorce. As where receiving a portion of your husbands pension. Now after a divorce can you reopen it for pension? The answer to that is yes but it is going to take a lot of detail. It is a tough case to reopen. So lets go through a couple things.
* First off if you are going to reopen a divorce case for pension, you need to have some very detailed papers and information on why and how. What does this mean. One that you did not know anything about pension or that you could receive it and no information was ever give to you in the divorce that it could be received. It is a very touchy subject to reopen.
* There will be a legal brief to convince the divorce courts. In this researching your divorce lawyers is important and now lets take a look. Your going to have to talk to the courts that you had no idea about pension in the divorce.
* Last but not least you will have to submit a CIS form, which your lawyer will help you with.
Now let me just say something. A person should never look at a wife receiving a husbands pension in a divorce as punishment. Just like alimony and child support is not a punishment. I sometimes get upset in the fact of hearing people call each other greedy or just after money in a divorce, especially if it has been a long marriage such as 25 years and over. These were 2 people that were suppose to work together and you were with this person a big portion of their life. A person does deserve their share in the divorce as the other also does.
Can a spouse receive alimony and child support in a divorce, which is a very interesting question, but yes. Now it will depend a lot on each spouse and the money going towards many things and you know age and length of the marriage have a lot to do wither alimony is to be paid after a divorce. Alimony can also be settled to be paid for a lengthy or a short amount of time after a divorce. It can have a lot to do wither a spouse needs just a little time to get back on her feet and maybe a little more schooling to get prepared for a career. Here is another time that finding a great divorce lawyer is important. They can give you the answers and help you also work out with your spouses lawyer what will work the best. But to answer the question yes.
There are several blogs on how child support amount is based in divorce. I will also recap on that one morning. It has to do with income of each spouse and also how many children are involved in the divorce and if the paying spouse has any other children from any other divorces.
So lets take a quick recap on how alimony and even child support is set up in a divorce.
*Alimony in a divorce has a lot do with the mental and physical health of the spouse.
*It can also have a lot to do on how debts are split in the divorce and this can not only affect alimony but also child support in your divorce.
*Alimony along with child support amount can have a lot to do on the earnings of each spouse. Now if the marriage was short, but yet a spouse quit either their schooling or career to become a full time mom or housewife, then alimony can be paid for a short duration allowing either the spouse to return to their career or schooling.
*And as I said earlier the age and length of the marriage depends a lot on the alimony factor.
The nice thing that can happen is when spouses work together to set up a plan after their divorce but most of the times the divorce courts end up doing that work. I like to tell spouses getting a divorce. working together is really important not only for them but the children involved.
Every state is different when it comes to divorce grounds and how divorce is governed. We are going to take today to discuss no fault and both fault based divorce grounds. Some states will have a list of both for in a divorce. Some states there must be a reason for the divorce as in both fault and will not allow no fault based and some states they will only have the no fault. So your asking ok what is this both and no fault based divorce grounds. Well lets take a look at what fault grounds for divorce will be. These are causes for a divorce not just a don't want to be married any more, they are reasons that you are getting a divorce.
Adultery is a fault based divorce ground.
Imprisonment of a spouse is a fault based divorce ground.
Indignities is a fault based divorce ground.
A mental disorder or insanity that puts your spouse usually in a special care facility, with no chance of recovery, is a fault based divorce ground.
Desertion or abandonment is fault based divorce grounds, now also every state that has the fault based divorce grounds also has a time of how long you must be deserted or abandoned before you can file for the divorce.
Abuse and cruel treatments are fault based divorce grounds
Bigamy is fault based divorce grounds.
Drug or alcohol abuse is fault based grounds for divorce.
Now there is a list of the fault or also referred to as both fault divorce grounds. They are reasons for the divorce.
When you fall into no fault basis for grounds for divorce, actually the divorce is simple and usually referred to as irreconcilable differences in the divorce papers, which means the spouses both want the divorce and that the marriage is broken. Some states if you have been treated with abuse you might have to take out a separate law suit, or go a different path to get restraining orders and such if it is a no fault based state. No fault can be simple in the fact that the states do not allow a finger pointing to keep happening in the divorce, they did this they did that sort of thing. When you file for divorce in your state your divorce lawyer will tell you if its a fault or no fault based state.
So this week we have just been recapping a bit on preparing for divorce and some important steps. Things that you need to do to prepare your life for the divorce, things you need to know so that you get what is rightfully yours in the divorce. But there is also some steps you need to do now to prepare your life for after the divorce. So these steps should really be done when your either thinking about divorce or if you have now been served with divorce papers. Yes it is a lot to think about but it is also your future and you want to take steps to secure it. Divorce is not easy, but sometimes you need to sit down take a deep breath, and start prioritizing what comes first and what you do next. You do not need to be in a hurry, you want to get things done efficiently and make sure your headed in the right direction after your divorce and have all your ducks in a row as I like to say. So here are some steps that I know I have mentioned before. But lets take another look at them, for preparing your life for after divorce.
One important step if you have not done so, if you do not have one is a checking account. You will need your own checking account after the divorce. Go ahead and open one and get started. Do not remove money from a joint account before the divorce. But you can start saving your money in there now. The joint money is figured out during the divorce, or if the spouses are getting along, they can come to terms on who's is what.
You also need to establish your own credit. Even if it is a small credit card you do not need to max out just have it maybe use it and pay it right back off. or a small loan. Establishing your own credit helps you with future purchases when and if you need them.
I know it seems silly to some people, but I think getting some form of counseling is so very important, especially if there is children involved I can say this till I am blue in the face....it helps families move on and understand and help feelings.
Also just like I said yesterday in preparing your life do an inventory of what is yours now, all your bills, and set up a calendar or graph it really helps, knowing when things are do and when to pay.
If you do not have a job, now is the time to also do so. Remember alimony in a divorce,so that if you are receiving some it allows time to job hunt or set up for a career.
Health insurance is another important factor. You can sometimes get a spouses health insurance to carry over until you are able to find coverage. But that will run out.
Take time to set your life up and get it ready.
This can be a confusing topic for some of us. It especially can be confusing if you did not see the divorce coming and not really kept up or had time to understand what YOUR property is in a divorce. In most states there is a usual 50/50 split. But now it can be tricky if you do not know half of the things you have. A spouse can walk away with a lot more in the divorce. You have time if you are served or know that the divorce is coming to take a property inventory. Get statements and keep statements, what's in the bank, what do you own, what do you owe. Take a look around and know what you have and also understand what it is yours. You have heard me a million times talk about if you get inheritance. If you had a self owned business before the marriage, if you have a separate income from something else. Do not commingle. Of course in most cases when we do marry some one, we do not see ourselves getting a divorce. BUT you should still keep record of everything you have, what it produced and where it went. Those documents are important in a divorce. So even if you have not done a lot of research or know what you have. You will now and remember a great divorce lawyer will help you along the way. You do not want to get stuck with all the bills in the divorce while the other spouse walks away with all the property.
Lets take a look at the 2 types of property division. Now each state is different. We will start recapping a bit on some state property division laws and if you have questions about a specific state ask....and now your divorce lawyer will know what property division fits your state. There is Community property division and Equitable property division.
Now lets take a quick look at some things your divorce lawyer will ask you to look deep into and you also need to really think when it comes to your property division.
Do you have any IRA's that can be split in a divorce.
Is there any pensions or retirements that a certain amount can be taken in the divorce, especially if the marriage was longer one. These are things you can get in a divorce.
Is there any stocks or bonds that can be split in the divorce.
Is there deposit certificates, money market accounts, safety deposit boxes that can all be split.
Remember there is a lot of property in a divorce,besides house, car, land and bills. MAKE sure you take an inventory and know what you have so you can get your part!
We have talked several times about mediators and how important they are. Remember divorce mediators are not therapist, they are not counselors. I have always said it is important to have those also in your divorce. Especially if there is children involved. I have seen so many studies and shows on children after a divorce and how in many cases they think its their faults or how they can not understand how parents are not together or how parents can not get along. Be sociable with each other for the children. Even if you no longer like the person that you are getting the divorce with...think of the child or children in this case. I realize how long it takes pain from a divorce to heal. I watched my parents and after 10 years can now be friends. But it hurt in the process of wondering and I was a teenager when they divorced.
Now mediators in a divorce can help couples realize things come to terms on things and look at the big picture and mediators always stay neutral and help you work out your problems. They basically lay everything out on the table have you look at it and stop the fighting. So here is a few great things about divorce mediation.
1. As I said divorce mediators stay neutral. They look at both sides of the problems. Then help the couples work out a solution, within all this can make the spouses in the divorce get along better.
2. A divorce mediator can also act as a closer in the divorce. To put some closure to the divorce and the fighting. Help close the arguments, instead of letting them drag out for ever.
3. Now remember a divorce mediator is only there for as long as you feel you need them. When you feel that you have everything worked out. They can leave at any point in the divorce process.
4. A divorce mediator allows both of the spouses to share their feelings of the divorce, maybe what they want and why, and how they are feeling. This sometimes allows each spouse to understand things and then they work together in the divorce.
5. Studies show that about 50-80% of spouses that used a divorce mediator, got things in the divorce resolved quicker, less fights and the process did not drag on.
Think about divorce mediation if there is a lot of fighting going in with the divorce itself. It can help all of the family.
Yesterday we talked about understanding your divorce and not making divorce mistakes. Did you know that wrapping up your divorce papers and everything in it is just as important. If you let something go, like not sign your name off something or, not sign something in the papers, it can come back to haunt you years later. So it is very important that you take time to wrap up your divorce. Make sure to tie up all those lose ends, so that they can never come back and bother you. So today I want you to read over a few tips on tying up your divorce correctly and feel free to ask questions. Asking questions about your divorce and gaining knowledge with information is so very important.
1. I have said this before many times when we have discussed your divorce process. Make sure to read your divorce papers. Start to finish. This is not just a flip trough and read the highlighted spots or think you already know what's in them. This is a find a nice comfy spot. A cup of tea. And it becomes your good book you want to know everything about. SO READ IT ALL. There could be even 3 little words in there that you did not know about, read before you sign and if anything is questionable, this is the time to ask your divorce lawyer.
2. Typing mistakes are even important to have corrected. Your divorce is a very important document. Even have typing mistakes fixed!
3. Make sure that in the divorce papers it mentions everything you are getting and make sure that your spouse signs off of those. Do not let it go days, weeks, months...make sure they sign off of your property. And make sure you know what your getting and what you will be paying for.
4. Then make sure that in the papers you sign off what you need to sign off of.
Remember wrapping up your divorce papers correctly could stop problems in your future, that are time consuming and money consuming!
I have been giving a lot of information lately state to state, and I still want to recap a bit on property divisions and alimony from state to state. But today I wanted to go back to some basic reminders in your divorce. Divorce no matter if you and your spouse are agreeing on things is still a stressful time in your life. Other spouses in a divorce can have such heated tempers the divorce has to go to trial. I still say divorce mediation is very important, and again in a few days I will recap on some of that divorce information. I also want to mention at any time you can ask questions and I will research the question, give you the best information possible, and possibly even find a great lawyer in your area. See that is a mistake you do not want to make either. FIND A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER. That is the most important thing you will do in your divorce process. Also never feel sorry for a spouse in a divorce. That can cause you to give or take things you can not afford to. Stay neutral. Yes you still may care for this person, but you need to take a good look at things....this is your future now. I still think a person going through a divorce should seek counseling, especially if there are kids. Even if you talk to a friend. Just make sure to get things off your chest to somebody who will actually listen to you. So now lets go over some other important things you do not want to make mistakes on in your divorce.
1. You seriously need to know what you have property wise, what you owe, what you own. These things will get divided and not always equally in a divorce. So take a good look and take note.
2. As I already said in the beginning of this blog. Find somebody you can trust to talk to through the divorce. It will help and somebody maybe you can get an opinion from. We love our families, but that is not always the people you want to go through. A best friend can be an option, counselors or therapist are the best and there are free programs.
3. Pay attention to your taxes. A lot of people over look their taxes in a divorce. DO not make that mistake.
4. Another one I talked briefly on is do not feel sorry for your spouse during the divorce, remember people will feed off of you to get what you want. Stay focused and think about your future.
5. Make sure you know all that is going on in your divorce. Yes you hire your divorce lawyer to do things for you.....but know what is going on!
6. MOST IMPORTANT FIND A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER!
Hawaii Divorce.
Divorce in Hawaii is and can be very complex divorce system for it is the divorce court that decides wither to grant the divorce or not based on certain information given by both spouses. If one spouse does not want the divorce in a lot of cases the divorce court will not grant it. You must be a resident of Hawaii for 6 months before you can file for divorce. You can not move to a different area or out of state from Hawaii if that's where the grounds for divorce happened. When filing for divorce one spouse goes and files what is called a complaint with the Hawaii family court. So now here is a look at the causes for divorce that the divorce system looks at in deciding wither to grant the divorce.
1. If the marriage is broken between both spouses. They both agree they do not want in the marriage. The divorce court in most cases will grant the divorce for both spouses that want out of the marriage.
2. If the spouses have lived apart or have been separated by what is called a decree of separation by the Hawaii family court. Again both spouses must agree that they both do not want back in the marriage. Then the Hawaii family court will allow the divorce petition to be completed.
3. Another one is if the spouses have lived separate or apart for a total of 2 years with a decree of separation by the courts again the courts will see no chance of the marriage and the petition for divorce will be granted.
4. The spouses have just lived apart continuously with no contact and no decree. The courts must see for sure that the spouses do not want the marriage then they can finalize a divorce.
Hawaii tends to take divorce a little different on how it handles it and how a divorce is granted. BOTH spouses must want the divorce if one spouse doesn't then counseling may be taken. Unless the courts see no chance for one spouse due to other things. The rest of the divorce process falls like the other states. If everybody is in agreement the divorce process is granted quick and easily, but in Hawaii still in court. Every divorce must go through the divorce court here. If there is an argument on things such as debt and property division,child support and custody, the divorce courts make those decisions for the spouses. on the information they have and research to whom should receive what and take care of what.
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