So many people enter into a divorce and have no idea what they have, I happened to see this happen to my mom, who got no divorce lawyer and let my dad basically take her…..over the years the pain has healed and unbelievably her and my dad have become friends again, but believe me not all divorce ends in that way, and from a small town, there was not much of a selection of divorce lawyers, something we talked a little bit about yesterday, and she let my dads divorce lawyer take care of everything, with your bigger areas such as California and New York etc….have a huge selection, and again make sure you research. Again another thing she did not do was read her papers, because she was upset! You already know my feelings about this through past divorce blogs!
The one problem that people over look like my mom because she was so upset with the divorce its self is she didn't think she had anything to take besides her clothes and well ended up walking away with a couple thousand dollars after being married OVER 25 years, she had no idea what to do, do not let this happen to you, wither the divorce is sprung on you are you are planning the divorce, make A LIST OF EVERYTHING, house, debts, land, things you brought into the marriage, things that were acquired during the marriage, you need your fair share in the divorce. So wither your in a small town or a huge area with a huge selection of divorce lawyers, you can step away and find a divorce lawyer in a different area that can kick some butt and make sure you get your fair share!
Does not matter where you are getting divorced, Utah, Chicago, New York, California etc…..your divorce lawyer is important! The beautiful thing about big states and cities is that there is going to be a better choice of divorce lawyers, other then a small town where it may be a pinch harder, but remember one of the important things about divorce lawyers is you can go outside the box and even research divorce lawyers outside of your area, if you are in a small town. May be that you have to go with one divorce lawyer in your area, don't worry about stepping away for a moment and researching a lawyer even out of state.
There are thousands of divorce lawyers when it comes to big areas such as California, and I have said it before, finding a great divorce lawyer can make all the difference in the world. SO remember to make sure to even look outside of your area for divorce lawyers, do not settle for the first divorce lawyer, you must do your research.
Also remember to share all you are going through in your divorce and to share all debt, assets and information you have.
Now if you have any questions about the state your in and your divorce, please feel free to ask!
Why are we sometimes scared to ask questions? I have felt this way before…I think because when I go to ask something I wonder if it will sound dumb…but i do not think there is a dumb question out there, when you really think about it, we must remember we all are smart in different areas, so asking allows us to learn! Especially when it comes to your divorce and child support ones, we do not want to do something wrong, just because we were nervous to ask. Asking questions is sometimes what saves us from being basically blind in a situation! Wither you ask a question here, which I love helping people, or you ask your divorce lawyer, or even a friend, it is important to ask anything you may have concern about. One thing you do not want to do is end back up in divorce court trying to reopen your divorce.
Make sure you also research your divorce lawyers, I have no idea how many times I have told people this, going to the first divorce lawyer in your telephone book that handles divorce, or the first add on the internet or by word of mouth is not always the best, you want to ask around, you want to ask questions, even on your divorce lawyer, make sure you research and even meet with several divorce lawyers.
Again I want to stress, how important it is to ask questions, never feel scared or think that any question is dumb, its not, it may save you a long run around of divorce issues in the long run, by asking!
In these times or any time….child support, divorce…all ties into your taxes….so before you go filing and claiming the children on, make sure who is going to be getting that in the divorce. This always seems to become a war in most divorce cases, and in a lot of cases, a divorce mediator will be called in to help with this area of the divorce. I have talked about divorce mediation several times, it can really help with many divorce issues.
This blog is important to people right now that are just stepping into their divorce and filing taxes also, what needs to be done here is a discussion between divorce lawyers if there have not been a filing of taxes and everything taken care of before the divorce. Both can not claim the kids, will either be parents splitting the years, adjustments in child support because one parent gets to claim every year. So make sure the adjustments are already made for this in your divorce before you go filing. This can be a huge mistake.
After the divorce everything changes when it comes to tax time, so even with work, make sure you are now having the right amount drawn out or putting the right amount back. Huge reminder for everyone when it comes to divorce and taxes.
I like to remind people, no matter what, you always have somebody, divorce is rough and of course there are a lot of women going through a lot more then divorce, they may be dealing with abuse….so if you are reading this and you think there is no where to turn…yes there is, just contact even your local departments, such as police or even support groups, there is always a place to turn and battered women's shelters. Remember you do not have to stay in that, you can get a divorce and you can be safe. For people going through a divorce, wither just dealing with things or what not, I have always said it is good to have therapist, somebody other then even a friend to talk to, that can help us see more clearly going through a divorce.
If you do have a good friend make sure they are there, and a good friend will be if you are going through a divorce or any tough time. One of the things that people forget is that they need to read those divorce papers, most people skim over them and can miss an entire story in their divorce papers, so read them and for that friend that is there for you, make sure they read your divorce papers, they may catch something you missed, and believe me the last thing you want to do is go back to divorce court, divorce cases can be horrible to reopen!
And here!!! If you need to talk about something in your divorce, ask a question about your area, or just scream about how your day went….you are never alone!
And check it more then twice. One of the things that you and your divorce lawyer need to do is go over a check list, for both of you. Your divorce lawyer needs to ask you a thousand questions, as you need to ask your divorce lawyer. One of the things is, be truthful about everything, you do not want to get into divorce court and *bam* there is a surprise and neither are ready for it. So make a check list of questions for your divorce lawyer, and make sure that you answer your divorce lawyers check list to a T.
There are several things you need to do also, is make sure that you and your divorce lawyer stay in touch on everything. What is going on, if any changes have happened in the divorce process,so an important thing to add to your check list here, is make sure you have all your divorce lawyers contact information, and he has all yours, now this comes down to everything, address, place of work, phones, email, fax, for both of you, making sure that you let each other know what’s going on as soon as possible and getting divorce information across to each other, can make the divorce process move so much smoother.
If you have any extra questions on what you may need to ask your divorce lawyer, well ask away, but here are some things, if you have been a stay at home mother, make sure child support and alimony issues are discussed. debts and assets, if there has even been adultery and abuse in the marriage, your divorce lawyer needs to know EVERYTHING. You want to get your fair share in a divorce, and make sure there are no surprises anywhere when it comes to the divorce.
Good Monday Morning, here we are a start of a new week, so many of us are going through so many things, many of us divorce, the thoughts of divorce, and where to start. I have done many blogs on what to do, it never hurts to refresh and for those of you that are new…so lets start, one of the things you need to do is start researching a divorce lawyer….I try to tell people to never surprise a spouse with a divorce, if you can talk to them in some way that it is not working, some already know divorce is happening wither or not…..some need to be quiet cause they are abuse cases to deal with in divorce, those are understandable…so start on finding your divorce lawyer, they will start happing you with the divorce process. There are many other things that you need to do such as…
Open your own bank account, one it is easy to transfer money in the divorce.
Getting your own line of credit, you need that in your new start after the divorce.
A job…now remember alimony can come into play here….if you need schooling to re enter the work force or get back on your feet in the work force, a good divorce lawyer will know to go over this with you.
Those are just some of the basics, and if you have questions NEVER ever be afraid to ask!
Stopping in on a busy day, and thinking about all the people going through divorce and child support issues. Some times I think people are scared or worried that when they ask a divorce or child support question that they may have a fear that they are just, either asking wrong, or that people will wonder what they are thinking. I have said it many times before, what matters is you, and asking your questions on your divorce and child support, alimony etc..is so important and no question is dumb, so make sure that you open up, this is your future and you want to get it right. I am not a lawyer, I am not a doctor, but I never worry when I ask a question, it allows me to learn something and go further and understand and get things right the first time around!
I love being able to research the best possible information for your divorce and child support questions, so always ask, heck ask anything, that's why we are here, to help you, to help your future…so that you do not have to be afraid, or scared….so jump in and get it right the first time, never be scared!
Well I have been gone for a few days, but never think I am not looking and keeping an eye on you all and the questions you have.
Getting your divorce right the first time is the most important thing you will ever do. So many people end back up in divorce court for several reasons. Not reading their divorce papers, not knowing what they have, not understanding alimony..etc..
It is important to know everything you have from debt and marital assets, make a list, and also give it to someone you can trust, your divorce lawyer needs to know everything you have, so that they can help get everything split right the first time, and your not sitting there later while your spouse got everything and you just got split in the debt.
It is also very important to understand alimony, alimony is not a punishment for a spouse, but if you have been married for a long time and now have to return to school or work force to survive and have been without work for years, alimony should be something a spouse should not mind in the divorce, after all here you have been for this person and now left alone to survive, alimony helps you get a start. alimony is paid for either lengthy amount of time or short time or even just while the divorce process is taking place, it all depends on certain things.
So today what I am telling you to do is make sure you get it right and do your research..and ask questions
These are two important things I think are important to add to your divorce process. I have wrote several divorce blogs containing information about divorce mediation and how it can help the process go so much smoother. A divorce mediator is there to see both sides, then help the spouses see both sides of what is going on and help them work through the divorce process on usually what both sides want. Divorce mediation can speed up a divorce process big time, it basically stops all the screaming and shouting of going around in circles of what both spouses want. Not to say there will not be fights in your divorce. But a divorce mediator can help smooth things over. In most cases spouses were very happy with the divorce mediation process and remember a divorce mediator does not need to be kept on for the entire divorce process unless you choose to do so. Also take a look at the past mediation blogs on all the information.
Therapy is another thing that I think spouses should do. Talking to someone is important, and especially if there are children involved in the divorce. Take the time wither you want to or not and get your family in to talk to someone, not only will it allow you to get things off your chest about your divorce, but with children they often view the divorce as their fault, so a therapist can be a huge help in showing this is not true. It also allows the whole family to talk together.
Divorce is never easy, but doing things to help the process such as mediation and therapy are 2 important things. Looking towards your future and making it the best you can is important. Fighting does not get you anywhere. But make sure you get what you deserve in the divorce, that's where mediation can help, where you might give up on the fight, the divorce mediator can keep you pushing! Therapy helps you release all that is bothering you!
Think about your future!
We have been over this a few times, not only preparing for your divorce, in finding the right divorce lawyer, and making sure that you understand everything you need to get together for your divorce, such as knowing all your assets and debt, to tax issues etc...but preparing your life for after divorce. In some cases Alimony can help you step back on your feet a little easier after a divorce, so make sure to go over that with your divorce lawyer, and please refer to the alimony blogs on what it takes to receive alimony after a divorce. Also temporary alimony during the divorce process, most spouses can get that just right during the process to help them find and settle into a new life a bit easier, but there are many other things you need to do, to prepare your life for after the divorce. It is never easy and really something we do not want to think about, but again this is one of those times you need to think of yourself and your future, you want to make the best out of your life, never let it get you down. I always like to remember and say to myself that, when one door closes, a window will open. We may not always understand what's going on in our lives, but sometimes there is a bigger purpose that we realize later on, even divorce.
So make sure to do some life preparations and make the best out of things!
You of course do want to set up your own checking account, I have mentioned this before and it makes transferring money in the divorce a lot easier. I think a checking account is something we should all have any ways, yes a joint account for the marriage and also a separate.
Also make sure to establish some sort of credit for after the divorce, so you have your own credit, now this does not mean run out get a bunch of credit cards, run them up..it does mean get a few credit cards or a small loan, do something such as establish a new place to live etc...and make sure to pay it back off. This goes on your credit score beautifully by paying it back off.
It is also important to have a job of course, and this may be where a little alimony after a divorce kicks in, if you have been a stay at home mom or house wife and now here you are in a divorce, and either need more schooling to get back into the work force, or find a job, alimony can kick in here.
Also I always think its important no matter what, when your going through a divorce you need some one to talk to, we may think a therapist is dumb, but it can make all the difference in the world for you and your family.
Yes the weekend might be here, but that does not mean, I do not check in to see if there are any divorce and child support questions. Sometimes I do sit and think about your divorce questions and child support before I answer them. I believe even having some one else's opinion and for them to find you the best information possible on your divorce and child support is important.
Everyone as I ended my divorce blog yesterday, everyone needs a little help in life. I wish some people would not be afraid to get things off their chest or talk about their divorce and child support issues. Getting opinions and information for your divorce is important.
Mae sure you ask away. So I suppose some basic things to leave the weekend with is.
Make sure and never be afraid to ask questions on divorce and child support, even if its something to do with a word, term or even phrase used in the divorce papers, sometimes letting the simplest thing go, that you think is no big deal, can be a huge one. I have even done a couple blogs on divorce and other legal terms.
If your using this time in your divorce to go over your divorce papers, make sure you read everything and again ask questions. Knowing whats in there is IMPORTANT.
If your using this time to start a divorce process, make sure your researching several divorce lawyers, getting a list of what you and your spouse have acquired over the years, do not be left in the dark and not get your fair share! Look at everything, even taxes, alimony..etc..
I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I will be checking in!
Well I seem to be running a pinch late in life today, but I want everyone to know I always have time to look at what ever you need. Making sure you get the right information and asking questions when it comes to your divorce is important and child support also. If your new to the community here, make sure to look around. There is a lot of divorce and child support information in the tag area, you can click a state and get information on divorce in your area. Now if you need information on divorce in your area please ask. One of the things I love to do in life is help others, and got into this watching other family and friends not get the right information or just not ask questions and let people walk all over them. I wanted to make sure that I could help others, and if you do have a question, I can look up the information on your divorce and child support issues and help as much as I can. Also remember this is a place you can kick back and get things of your chest, things that are bothering you in your divorce.
So always feel free to ask away, believe me no question is silly....we all are different, and we all need a little help in life.
So today I just wanted to jump in here and make sure everyone understands the importance of researching your divorce and child support lawyers, we have talked a lot about researching your divorce lawyer, but in most cases child support does come right along with a divorce, and most lawyers that work in the divorce field handle child support issues also. It is still important to research your child support lawyer even if that's all your going for. You can call you local bar association and also get a listing and information on divorce and child support lawyers.
Most people jump into the first divorce lawyer they hear about by word of mouth, or the first ad in a listing, this is something you do not want to do when it comes to your divorce and child support. Yes it is ok to listen to people and not saying the divorce or child support lawyer they used was not good, but it is also good for you to look at things, do a little research and see what divorce or child support lawyer your you like. Ad's are very important, if a divorce or child support lawyer can list in big ad's can sometimes mean they are a bit further along, well known, and used a lot, but does not mean to over look the smaller ad's, check and see, and meet with several and ask to see some of their work, divorce and child support lawyers will have a book, with of course no personal information, but cases they have worked and how they turned out, so make sure to ask to see their past history.
And ask questions, just like here getting all the information you can is important, and do not be afraid to ask questions.........
With all the issues with the economy right now, and going through a divorce, we may not be thinking of everything we need to be. Asking questions is very important and researching your divorce lawyer. Many people of course want to get their divorce done and over with, but you also need to make sure that you are getting what's fair in the divorce, do not let a spouse take you, because you are in a hurry and just want to move on fast. I have done many blogs on what you need to do before filing or when you file for divorce and one of those is knowing everything that you have so that you can get it split right down the middle. You never want to look back and say, I really wish I would have pushed harder for this in the divorce. Asking questions wither its your divorce lawyer or others and getting answers is very important, sometimes I feel we do not want people to look at us like we should know this....ASK, no question is every silly and its important that you do ask, so that you can understand!
Today I just want people to know they never need to feel insecure about asking questions when it comes to their divorce or child support issues. This is your future, its important!
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